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Posts Tagged ‘southafrica’

Menlyn Shopping mall

I went to one, it had shops, I bought stuff. You don’t need to get as excited about it as me, so I’ll spare you the details, just be assured that it did all fit in my suitcase.

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The wonder of TV

The other one when he get's a bit tetchy

The best thing about being away was watching Cable TV, though I can’t believe that I spent my valuable time watching Spread with Ashton Kutcher- dire – and couldn’t stay awake because I was far too tired (how lame) for Weird Science and Fright Night – what was wrong with me? I’d forgotten how much I loved both, especially Fright Night. Roddy McDowall was dead good mates with Elizabeth Taylor, there’s some trivia for you. I have yet to see the remake – but it’s on my list (nothing else by AK is)

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**** me that’s cold

There were two kids playing around the hotel pool. This meant that when I plunged in and discovered that the water was so icy cold my heart retracted, I exploded with goosebumps and it was a struggle to get my breath, I could not scream at the top of my voice about how expletively cold the sodding pool was and felt it necessary to swim a few of its very short lengths to show them just how hardcore I was, bloody kids. I scrambled out after 5 minutes, dived into a beach towel and wished I hadn’t done anything as so stupid (see previous post for further stupid behaviour) as to try and be fit. I should have stayed in front of the TV.

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A good girl?

Or stupid? The conference finished on Thursday but being still in South Africa on Friday, I thought I’d better show willing and ‘work’. Not having a laptop, I inveigled myself into the High Commission in Pretoria and somehow or other managed to procure myself my own office and laptop and worked- until lunchtime when it shut – hardly worth it was it? I even managed to meet the High Commissioner and remembered with surprise that Paul Boateng had been the previous incumbent, and one of the ministers I first worked with when I was at the Home Office. Would have been weird if it was still him…’er hi, remember me?’ Of course I do, I’d have replied

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Across the road from the hotel

Were about as many facilities as there are in the whole of Mahe; restaurants, a theatre, a spa, pharmacy, Woolworth’s express type thing (south African version is posh and this one was food only) and shops. Notably one called the safari and outdoor company. I thought I’d have a nosy round thinking it would be like Blacks or Go Outdoors, it wasn’t.

It was a designer hunting shop by all accounts, guns, fatigues,ammo, anything you might want to kill things and just in case you were unclear as to the shop’s purpose, they had a nice little wall feature. Isn’t it funny how countries can be so culturally different? FAIL.

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Smile you’re on conference camera

Why does it happen?

I might like to open my mouth but that doesn’t mean I like to be on camera but somehow I find myself on it anyway, pretending to be a press office being savaged by a media pack. Wonderful, I sounded like a five year old with a cold and looked like my mum, what a combination. Method actor I wasn’t, I’m not sure that I was meant to laugh but more worrying was when the footage was played back, the rest of the group laughed too. Were they laughing at me, at what I was doing, was it my voice, my hands waving about idiotically, the fact that I looked like a cornered chicken? What? And it’s not like I could ask them was it? I didn’t know these bleedin people.

FAIL.

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Negotiating the self in conference

People you’ve never met before – work colleagues – strange city, only yourself to rely on the big question – will I come across as a total *ob?! I wasn’t trying at all but I couldn’t help speaking – that may not have helped. It was a major geography challenge, where you are from? Kinshasa.. hmmmmmm,I’ve heard of it, don’t tell me, no please don’t,oh ok then, DRC, oh right ok, great (*hit, *hit, what’s that stand for? Don’t Remember Clearly?) Oh, Democratic Republic of Congo. Aha, Gorillas! No, most of them are in the Republic of Congo*, Eh, come again? That’s what you said isn’t it?

FAIL.

* Democratic Republic of Congo was formerly Zaire and changed it’s name in 1997 and has about 70 million people. The other one – is it democratic who knows? – has only 4 million. Granted I had a better excuse to not know that than not think that Huddersfield was down south from Manchester but in my defence an easy mistake to make when Manchester was the centre of the universe.

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