Posts Tagged ‘tortoises’

Come on hurry up, I've only got another 250 years to go

PLEASE NOTE: see comments to this post, helpfully pointing out that fauna are animals and CITES is Convention on International Trade on Endangered Species. Dodgy schoolgirl error (sorry Mrs Grundy) and though I don’t profess to ever really know what I’m talking about and will do anything (almost!) for a cheap gag, promise I’ll do better next time. Probably a good thing that I’m not responsible for any tortoises ;  ) 

I know it’s a phrase I use far more often than I should but that’s because this country keeps giving me reason too.

Really… ‘I couldn’t make this up’…

From now until August, the country is having a Tortoise census.


And it’s not run by any tom, dick or harry (TDH), oh no, it’s by decree of the environment department of the Ministry of Home Affairs, Environment, Transport and Energy (which might well be the Government equivalent of TDH judging by its title).

It’s an important task, Giant Tortoises can only be found in their natural habitat, here in Seychelles, and in the Galapagos Islands, and right enough, the notice of the census that appeared in the Nation newspaper referred to some official conventions for why they’re doing it, but:

a) quite how a tortoise census is connected with  ‘the convention on international trade in endangered species of wild flora and fauna (CITIES)’, I don’t know (unless Mrs Grundy, my biology teacher had it all completely wrong);

b) Quite how the above convention leads to the acronym CITIES, I know not either, and can only assume that’s it’s translated from French, begging the question why not just have it in English? I’m learning French and its a lovely language but let’s not kids ourselves, there’s a reason English people are crap at speaking French, it’s because there’s no need to ; )

My own thinking is that a Giant Tortoise can’t possibly be flora or fauna as it can’t possibly fit in a vase, there are however, I realise, holes in this argument.

Anyone who has a tortoise is requested to contact the Ministry. I’m quite sad now that I haven’t.

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I love this.


not a sequin in sight...


A Giant Tortoise called Esmeralda has been living happily on Bird Island for a very long time.Except she is a he and should technically be called Esmeraldo but staying true to history (or more likely it makes a nice story) he’s still confusingly called Esmeralda. I hope he doesn’t have any issues. I mean, he’s apparently been knocking around since June 1771, TWO HUNDRED AND THIRTY NINE YEARS OLD. He’d need another lifetime for the therapy alone.

He needn’t be troubled by emasculation by name though, at 1.27 metres in length, 2.54 metres in girth and weighing 363kg  (measured by the Royal Society so it must be true), he’s likely to be the world’s largest tortoise. Esmeralda rocks.

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